All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
we're so committed to being not committed
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
