I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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