Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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