K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
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Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
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I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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