if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we're making bets on your personal life
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
