She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
