god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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