I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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