You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you still have your period?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
