thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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