Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Randomize
