tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
