Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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