Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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