Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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