i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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