I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize