Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
