Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
