Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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