All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize