sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
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I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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