I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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