I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
