So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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