Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just had sex on a roof
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