in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize