Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
