for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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