I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
