It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
