forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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