never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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