ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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