Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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