Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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