I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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