I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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