The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
