No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
