Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
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