so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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