please come you make the beer taste better
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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