its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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