Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize