can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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