I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
