She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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