Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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