If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
