Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
