Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize