I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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