My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
